FoodTechLite

The Ph.D. Blues

Carl K. Winter, Ph.D. may be the Extension Food Toxicologist and Director of the FoodSafe Program at University of California, Davis, but he’s also one very wacky academic. Winter spends his free time writing and recording musical parodies of popular songs, replacing their lyrics with lines that have a food safety/science slant—sort of the weird Al Yankovich of HACCP!

For your listening pleasure, Winter has burned some of his finest, most farcical creations onto a CD entitled “Stayin’ Alive—A Hearty Helping of Food Follies and Science Serenades,” the full content of which he has also placed on his Food Safety Music web site.

Among Dr. Winter’s slickest ditties are “USDA” (a parody of the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.”), “You Better Wash Your Hands” (a take-off on “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles), “Clonin’ DNA” (as in “Surfin’ USA”) and “Food Busters” (a parody of the Ray Parker, Jr. tune “Ghostbusters”). Each is imbued with a heavy dose of Winter’s sardonic wit, such as in the food-safety musician’s rendition of Dire Straits’ “Money For Nothing”:

I want my
I want my Ph.D.

Now look at them professors, that’s the way you do it
You go to college and get your Ph.D.
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothing and your perks for free
Now that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them profs ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on their typing finger
Maybe get a blister on their typing thumb

ETC.

Clearly Dr. Winter’s academic career has left him with much too much time on his hands. And we love it!

Purple Rain

We don’t quite know what to make of the following item, published Tuesday, January 12, 1999, in the San Jose Mercury News:
Dead Birds Probable Victims of Berries
More than 100 robins dropped from trees and were found dead on sidewalks and porches in Santa Rosa. The likely cause: drunkenness. It appears they overdosed on alcohol by eating berries that had fermented on the branch because of unusually cold weather. Martha Bentley at the Bird Rescue Center figured out the cause after taking a quick look at the birds scattered near large maple trees Sunday. All had purple stains on their beaks. Her theory awaits verification (by) the state Department of Fish and Game.

Cartoon “Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of, Part 2” by Nick D. Kim, Ph.D. Take a look at Nick’s home page.